Today, I feel hope. I don't feel bogged down or hopeless. For this I am thankful, God has renewed my spirit. I have spent most my life reminding myself and others, that how you feel today does not determine the rest of your life. Today does not determine who you are forever.
I have a beautiful wonderful friend who at one time had four children. She made mistakes as we all do, as parents expecially. As a parents young or old, we will mess up, we will be selfish, we will be harsh, we will be absent, and we will spend the rest of our lives wishing we had done better. This friend was a mother blessed with her children and despite her short coming, she loved her children. She will tell you she made mistakes and has forever wished she had been a better mom. Her children were told by judgemental people that she did not really love them because of this or that mattered more than they did. Which at no point was even close to the truth. You can not measure a mothers love by their mistakes or bad decisions!! How's is that fair?? Plus, as an "adult" what in hurting a child, by telling them a parent does not love them or want them, what kind of sick satisfaction does telling that lie give a so called person? That I do not understand at all!!!!
My friend now has only two children left to show her love today. Because 2 of her children two years apart had decided to unalive themselves. They could not see past that day, that feeling, or that experience to see that someday things do and will be different or better. Suicide is not the answer! It is a forever decision to a temporary problem or issue.
I read a sign once that said, "Suicide is passing your sadness to those who love you most". I wonder daily, how this mom breathes in air or how she lives with the pain that her children left for her to handle all alone. These sweet lost people had never experience parts of life that makes it so worth living. One had never been a parent and the other is a parent but never a grandparent. They never gave the situation a chance to change. Never gave God the chance to show them how to live abundantly.
They never traveled, never moved to a different state, never went dancing, never watch a dolphine chase a ship, they did not give themselves a chance to fight and keep life. A temporary feeling, a temporary situatuon, a temporary issue no not worth the rest of your life. Reach out talk to someone! and if your in a position to help someone----help them. One of my friends children was incarcerated and the family had made the detention center aware of the childs mental health issues and warned them he maybe suicidal. But the staff did nothing! If you have a job overseeing others be human and listen openly.
My heart aches for my friend, for her children, and for all that are suffering with the thoughts of harming themselves. Do NOT give up talk to someone anyone. You are loved!!!!
